My Voice

I never felt that I had a distinct voice as a writer. I know I have a unique personality in the way that I speak but never believed that I could translate it onto paper properly. Words and sentences that are so clear and focused in my speech never seem good enough on paper. How the hell I managed to get a BA in English and a double minor in History and Creative Writing while staying on the Dean’s list is a mystery. It’s been nine months since I graduated and I haven’t written anything outside of resumes and texts. I age faster when I don’t write and feel a less in control of my life.

That is why I’m starting this blog. I need to write. Not like I need air but like I need hope. A reason to keep breathing. Bizarre, that when technology makes it easy for your voice to be heard that I can be paralyzed in sharing my own. It feels overwhelming though; the millions of voices that you know are speaking and writing every day. That have spoken and written and fill the halls of book stores and libraries and internet archives. It’s a screaming ocean-chorus that will swallow your voice. Everything good has already been written, and someone has probably already written that too. So why try?

Because it needs to be said again, and again. Because books are burnt and people die, and someone needs to add their voice to that ocean-chorus. That little drop of voice is our responsibility, because that ocean-chorus can only grow if we all contribute. It might be loud but there is time enough for quiet in the grave.

Or at least that is what I’m telling myself so I’ll do this. If I’m gonna find my voice I need to believe in not just my own writing but the value of the act itself. I don’t have report cards in life anymore and no one is looking over my shoulder. It’s all up to me whether I achieve something or not and I don’t want to fail having never really tried. Like witnesses to a crime you all will hold me accountable. I’ve put it out here. I’ve started something and I have to follow through. So I’ll be here to share what stories, essays, poems and thoughts I have.